The Original Fake Audrey.

I’m starting to come to the conclusion that I’m at fault or everyone is entirely mistaken….my anxiety as reached an excruciating point. I think it doesn’t do much brilliance that I have everyone as the impertinence to come at me still. I’m done with the sick minds of today. I’m starting to realize the ones who are most trustworthy are the only ones worth being around period. There disregard and my less importance to them shows more than ever. There requirement to put people down is now getting almost old… it hard to see these people wasting there time as they wonder why good things never happen to them….it’s hard to be apologetic to someone who doesn’t deserve any amount of sympathy. I try to be around people more regularly but end up almost feeling myself suffocating in anxiety once again yearning for a drug to get me elsewhere. There are sometimes occurrences where I don’t feel an ounce of sanity in my veins. It can’t be ALL them but my negative mind also in full effect. It isn’t my fault my mind doesn’t ooze of sunshine and enthusiasm. I don’t know if I even have a cause for my constant difficult intellect to plant seeds of depression. Being an outsider in a social world isn’t exactly enjoyable. Having the two people you consider best friends putting you second to each other isn’t accurately a party. Having the boys you have always loved and admired become strangers and move on isn’t the happiest thing. The most “splendid” thing on top of that is having a family that seems to never have faith in you as much as you even try. There beliefs are to get to the acme of everything whatever means necessary. There religions, reading to be the opposite of a person like me. I seem to be more than sinful with it all over my skin and am more than happy I don’t live my life avoiding half of the things I do or people I’m around because of what’s written in a book that ages back to B.C. My generation happens to be one that feeds on gossip magazines and rumors to cure there loneliness. My generation actually wishes to be more filled with fame than wisdom. My generation as no meaning in existing if we only harm and damage each other than give love and happiness. I have yet to feel it. I doubt the bible could have predicted that our world would come to war and destruction so long before the revelation. I don’t know all the answers to the questions and I find myself changing views and opinions on every person because I know everyone has there good and bad points is it my fault the bad, in my mind, always dominates the good? I’m losing a religion I’m losing the people I found it most easy to talk to….does it even matter when you’re always second best or second to last? My loner status is for there lifelong ignorance and there polite way to saying they don’t want me, ignoring me….I’m also starting to realize that a drug isn’t the only solution….maybe a departure is just the medicine I call for.