The Original Fake Audrey.

I’ve official lost my innocence. Months have gone by and I’ve done nothing but state preconceived notions that took me centuries to conclude. Use philosophies to get my answers and try to find a way of life but yet I have an idiotic foundation of existence. I bury my head under the sand. I yearn for things that later I evidently say I am not worthy of. I repeat the same mistake, never learning a single moral from my past.

More like losing faith, I’m an Agnostic which wouldn’t be such a big deal if I didn’t go to a Catholic high school and have an obsessive religious family. Been debating to stand for my beliefs, since other fourteen year olds think you’re too advanced if you have your own beliefs on religion and politics. Because I can’t comprehend it right? Because I don’t keep up with the presidential debates and look into multiple religions?  More like because you underestimate me as a naïve catholic fourteen year old girl, or level me to the rest of the immature children my age, never to see the person but the number. Never search to find who she really is (nothing that you assume). I’m the odd one out and always have been. Terrified of myself I always was since there’s no point in having a brilliant mind if you can’t express your thoughts with anyone else. Living in different places opened my mind to a bit, such as knowing that every community was there own world and think differently which is why the brilliant are usually the ones looked at as insane for being peculiar in there world until later they meet people in a different environment to confide in that think there ingenious. Everyone as a different perception of the world. Not everyone fits in the puzzle, sometimes not even if you try to bang and squeeze it in just right. Everyone as to try and find there own place to be admired, I still haven’t found mine.

Lately I’ve also opened my eyes to how unintelligent our world as gotten, lets leave all the decisions to “adults” who have the same brain capacity as the adolescent, if not even less. But no, let’s level ourselves down to have decisions made for us, or at least the ones that count most. What a shame. Our lifestyle is determined as soon as we’re born our religion for example, if you’re Christian you get baptized when you’re a baby and live out that life. Sheltered to not see another damn thing, its fear for your parents to know you’ve lost your faith and to not be a clone of them, to be grown and never repeat what they told you. It’s laughable to me, I come from a broken home and I thank the greater power that I don’t believe what they desire, because by doing that I make the world a sane place. Ha.

I don’t want to be perceived as egotistical for saying a have a brilliant mind because in all honestly I’m far from a genius, I’m just closer to what the ideal mind is supposed to be, wanting to increase your knowledge and be an individual instead of persecuting the ones that do, because those lowlifes are the ones stuck in there own world, poor them they’ll never get out.